I love you with all my heart and soul, I love how you never let go.
you have been with me through thick and thin, through everything possible happiness and sin.
our love is a ship in a bottle, possible through impossibilities.
your love always has me down on my knees.
down on my knees I pray to the Lord, that I may wake up to your face once more.
I teach you and you teach me, we are of one human being.
I love how you love me with all of your heart,  we were meant for each other from the start.
I leave you with a message at hand, all of your everything, I understand.

Awaken the beast

I am so sick of these stupid fuckin people! oh, wait....it is my fault...its my fault i let you in, its my fault i keep trying to help, its my fault to care, everything that angers me about you all is  my fault because i let it in. AWAKEN the beast....why are you so dumb and naive, I dont need you, i really dont. I have been on my own for 15 yrs without any help from you even when I needed it.

I can forgive, I can forgive you left and right but it will not save you from me. why do you underestimate me and what i will do, you should know better. you have seen it bad in the past, you have seen how it affects me and then affects you! guess what, its a hell of alot worse, I have better control now but I dont mind letting it slip when i need it to. no one has any idea the full potential of my rage. you have no idea what i hold, what i hide inside. the depth of darkness within my soul. GOD help the person if it ever gets out, because it cannot be controlled once its out.


you are sick and disgusting human beings, open your fuckin eyes because when it all crumbles, and it will crumble, you will have no one there, no one to turn to, no one that will trust you.then you might see a glimpse of how i have felt all these years and why iam who iam today. not just the darkness but the light as well. all that i have accomplished, all the positive things i do for others not just myself, you can hate all you want, gossip, rumors, lie, jealousy....
I dont care, dont you see that even when I did, it wasnt fully there...i had no reason too. you are all mindless sheep. I am cutting ties, your done. you can say and do whatever you want but my ears will not fall prey to your words. you can attempt to reach me in any way shape or form and you will get no response. I do not need your lies and manipulations in my life...

I do not need people like you anywhere near my family with your negativity. if you think i will get over it and come back or contact you, you are wrong.....see, lots of people have relationships with family, even if they dont, they will in times of crisis, people will miss family if they move out of state. I will not. 
I am not that type of person. I miss my in laws more then i miss you or will ever miss you. I am comfortably numb from the years. you would be surprised at the things i can turn around and not care about, not one bit. you can have power over people or let people have power over you, thats your decision, its not a mistake because you always let it happen, its not a mistake. i leave you guys to rot in the holes you have dug yourselves. you will all destroy each other, 

if you ever want to make amends, it will take a hell of alot of work and apologies  for me to even look at you. and it wont be me you will apologize to because once again, i do not care, but it will be to Cindy, Hailey, Lauren and Camden. even if you want to go through that and forget your selfishness, at least 3 years will go by without a word from me. i am happy friends and family can be true to each other and be there for each other but in my eyes, family and friends are completely useless....Blood means nothing to me except for what i have chosen and what I have created from my own

DRAINAGE

Sometimes it bleeds fast sometimes its  slow, but it looks so good to see the flow

Emotional numbness, pain inside, just more tissue that will soon die.

The feel of the blade as it glides across the skin, the line is made so precise and thin

After it opens and starts to bleed, pain and emotion are soon set free.

 Only a second and it starts to bead, to watch the blood run is what I need

Its a rush, its a feeling that you are alive, cuz sometimes you feel so dead inside

It can quickly snap you back into reality, then you clean the mess of your own brutality

Why does it feel good and addictive the same,  yet you must hide it with fear and shame.

 It crosses my mind more then it should, I push it deep down till I feel it is good.

It all bottles up to almost no end, then it explodes to the cycle again.

-Geminis Revenge

 

 

It really sucks to feel this way, its almost certain on any day

Just to find the middle ground, make my brain safe and sound

It starts out well like i could conquer the day, this is the way I wish it would stay

But something so small and random at best, sends me back down, another failed test

I spiral down different levels and depth, sometimes will do what I will regret

And as i fall, my anxiety shoots up, as the volcano starts to erupt

It drains my energy like I haven't slept, irritated and agitated I have to accept

The sounds and actions normal and true, turn to anger and boiling stew

I hate feeling this way and the people I hurt, yet i cant seem to stop as my brain and evil flirt

I wish i could stop and hold it at bay, but it seems forever it will stay

Sometimes i can escape and turn it around, but most of the time its my face to the ground

Its seems when it starts i become addicted, meaner and meaner until the spells lifted

Stay out of the path, destruction is near, all people in general I try to steer clear

It's the inner demon that I  always fear.

-Geminis Revenge

so the other day this guy started talking about some kind of new herbal medication that he takes. sometimes he would say grass or mary jane or pot. im guessing its called that because maybe you take grass and cook it in a pot or something and that it was created by some women named mary and jane, not sure, but thats my guess. anyways he said I should try it, but I told him I dont do herbal supplements, ive never even used herbal essence. anyways, after that he asked me if i wanted a dime bag. Im not sure if thats how much an individual bag costs but i told him i dont buy them separately i always buy the box with 40 bags with the ziplock slider for about 3 bucks...he didnt want to talk to me after that.....dang weirdo Ok that one didnt really happen

ok so this is a true story that was recently brought up by wife..it was a few years back and I was walking fast down an aisle in walmart by the apparel section. some of you know how fast I can walk sometimes..Anyways, Im moving along and I got a quick glance at this guy and I thought to myself, wow that guy looks mad...I saw him again like 10 sec later...stopped in my tracks and looked...it was me passing by the little mirrors they have by the clothes...I have been told before that I looked really mad but I am in fact happy..just not aware of my facial expressions i guess, but never actually saw it till then...kinda freaked me out

Dear Walmart: why do you insist on putting slow cashiers in the speedy checkouts? It kinda defeats the purpose. Also, a piece of advice, when all 5 of your checkout lanes have a massive line and then you decide to call more cashiers to the fronts, you just pissed everyone off. Learn to see these events before it becomes a problem. Thank you in advance- Best regards, 80% of your customers.
P.S. when you have a 40ish cashier going the same pace as her 80ish customer and likes to jabber her jaws and put my raw chicken on top of my other food without any protection seems like a good candidate for door greeter