Awaken the beast

I am so sick of these stupid fuckin people! oh, wait....it is my fault...its my fault i let you in, its my fault i keep trying to help, its my fault to care, everything that angers me about you all is  my fault because i let it in. AWAKEN the beast....why are you so dumb and naive, I dont need you, i really dont. I have been on my own for 15 yrs without any help from you even when I needed it.

I can forgive, I can forgive you left and right but it will not save you from me. why do you underestimate me and what i will do, you should know better. you have seen it bad in the past, you have seen how it affects me and then affects you! guess what, its a hell of alot worse, I have better control now but I dont mind letting it slip when i need it to. no one has any idea the full potential of my rage. you have no idea what i hold, what i hide inside. the depth of darkness within my soul. GOD help the person if it ever gets out, because it cannot be controlled once its out.


you are sick and disgusting human beings, open your fuckin eyes because when it all crumbles, and it will crumble, you will have no one there, no one to turn to, no one that will trust you.then you might see a glimpse of how i have felt all these years and why iam who iam today. not just the darkness but the light as well. all that i have accomplished, all the positive things i do for others not just myself, you can hate all you want, gossip, rumors, lie, jealousy....
I dont care, dont you see that even when I did, it wasnt fully there...i had no reason too. you are all mindless sheep. I am cutting ties, your done. you can say and do whatever you want but my ears will not fall prey to your words. you can attempt to reach me in any way shape or form and you will get no response. I do not need your lies and manipulations in my life...

I do not need people like you anywhere near my family with your negativity. if you think i will get over it and come back or contact you, you are wrong.....see, lots of people have relationships with family, even if they dont, they will in times of crisis, people will miss family if they move out of state. I will not. 
I am not that type of person. I miss my in laws more then i miss you or will ever miss you. I am comfortably numb from the years. you would be surprised at the things i can turn around and not care about, not one bit. you can have power over people or let people have power over you, thats your decision, its not a mistake because you always let it happen, its not a mistake. i leave you guys to rot in the holes you have dug yourselves. you will all destroy each other, 

if you ever want to make amends, it will take a hell of alot of work and apologies  for me to even look at you. and it wont be me you will apologize to because once again, i do not care, but it will be to Cindy, Hailey, Lauren and Camden. even if you want to go through that and forget your selfishness, at least 3 years will go by without a word from me. i am happy friends and family can be true to each other and be there for each other but in my eyes, family and friends are completely useless....Blood means nothing to me except for what i have chosen and what I have created from my own